Hiding
by Serene River
Summary: Post-BDM. River's mind, now more or less unfettered by the secret of Miranda, is wracked by her Reader abilites. Where does she seek sanctuary aboard Serenity? Jayne's room, of course! I'm a Rayne-aholic, and that's what this will be. Rating WILL change.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hiding (Chapter 1)

Disclaimer: I own nothing in _Firefly_ universe. It all belongs to Joss Whedon. Please don't sue.

Author's Note: I hope you guys enjoy this one, it's just a bunny that's been hopping around my head. It'll develop into a story, but I can't promise an epic plot.

Since Miranda, River had taken to hiding around the ship. Now that the pressure of the Miranda secret was no longer clouding her mind, River was struggling with her Reader abilities more often than not. She was generally more lucid than she had been, but most days it was difficult to keep herself from hearing things she shouldn't, or things she didn't want to hear. Before, Miranda had made her jumbled and unable to tell what was remembered, what was happening, and what was coming from whom.

In the weeks immediately following Miranda, River had tried to ignore it. She wanted the crew – her _family_ – to think she was better. But the thoughts continued; she heard too much, saw too much, knew too much. She had to hide. No one could see her fighting this; they couldn't help, and they would all just think that she'd gotten worse or needed more medicine. There were plenty of places aboard Serenity for a young "slip of a thing" (as Zoe sometimes thought of her) to hide away, but there were still problems.

She couldn't hide in the room she shared with her brother, even if it was in name only, seeing as he spent most nights with Kaylee. Simon was far too likely to come in, find her, and decide she needed drugs. No more medicine, so no hiding in her own room.

The cargo hold had plenty of hidey-holes, usually used for storing cargo of a less-than savory nature. She knew of those, she'd hidden there when the dearly departed Shepherd Book's hair had scared her so badly. But those places presented a problem or two as well: they usually held shipments, and were therefore full, and she'd used them before, so detection was unavoidable.

Public areas of the ship were out for obvious reasons. Even the bridge had ceased to function as a location to escape to, because she was expected there now that she was the pilot. And the passenger cabins were far too close to the room she shared with Simon; he would find her there.

These problems left only one more option: the living quarters of the others aboard Serenity. Kaylee's room was easily stricken from the list. The young mechanic was far too likely to try and talk to her, and her brother's presence was more likely than not. Besides, Kaylee had some of the loudest thoughts on Serenity. They were happy thoughts, sunshine in the darkness of the mood of others, but loud nonetheless. Inara's shuttle wasn't really an option either. The tension that followed the beautiful woman – mostly based around a certain captain – hurt River's head and heart. And even if she did try to hide in the rented shuttle, River would be afraid of messing anything up or breaking something, or just…ruining the splendor that Inara had created in there. Zoe's quarters were definitely not even remotely close to being an option; she was still grieving, and her dark mood was overwhelming for River. Zoe acted as if she was coping well, put on a wonderful mask for the crew, but River could see, River 

knew…and hiding in her room would not let River hide from that, not at all. This left only two options: Mal and Jayne. Captain Daddy made River feel human, believed in her, which made her feel safe. But his thoughts, his feelings, ran wild inside him. He was still mourning the loss of his crew members, he was still fighting his feelings for Inara, he was still brooding…she had seen Serenity Valley too many times from his eyes to be able to hide in his rooms.

So really, there was only one choice left for River: Jayne's bunk. The overbearing mercenary, while loud in demeanor, had surprised River by being the quietest in thought. Jayne was a man of action, and so what thoughts she did get from him were very simple, direct and to the point. He grieved for Book, and even Wash, in his own way, but it wasn't the all-consuming grief of Zoe or the Captain. He was warm and safe, and while she knew most of the crew feared her in some way or another, she'd gotten less sense of apprehension from Jayne. He didn't like that she had done what he couldn't, but he admired that she had. There were other things as well, feelings that made Jayne warmer, but she couldn't see them. Whenever they started around her, Jayne would immediately clam up, or leave. Besides, Miranda had changed Jayne, as it had changed them all. He knew the bond of the crew now, saw them all differently, even the "little Crazy." He still thought she was crazy, but he didn't hate her, and River had found that she particularly liked his smile.

So, River crept down the hallway, walking on the balls of her feet and peering this way and that, making sure no one would see her. She knew that Jayne wasn't in his bunk; he was double-checking cargo, and planned to lift weights after that, and she had plenty of time before he would come home. So, she opened the hatch and half climbed, half fell into Jayne's room. She looked around, taking in the scene as she breathed in the scents. Some unwashed clothes and sweat smell, to match the clothes in the corner waiting to be washed; gun oil and metal, to match the wall of weapons hidden (badly) behind a blanket; the smell that was just _Jayne_, left behind by a prolonged stay in the same place. It was all very soothing, really. And quiet. River climbed up onto the bed and crawled into the corner, knees drawn up to her chest and propping her chin on them, and just existed, hearing nothing but her own thoughts for the first time in a while.

Relaxing. Peaceful. Safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Hiding (Chapter 2)

Disclaimer: Still isn't mine. Not even Jayne, even if I want him to be. Desperately.

Author's Note: Wow. I love the amount of hits this story and my others are getting. Please review guys? Thanks! Keep enjoying.

I admit this didn't exactly flow the way I wanted it to. Let me know what you guys think, and I will try to improve with each chapter.

Jayne walked back to his bunk, feeling the burning of his muscles, and the edge of an ache that said he'd done a good workout, and felt mighty proud of himself. It was work to stay in shape out in the Black, but it beat doing nothing, or dealing with the sickly sweetness of the Doc and Kaylee, or the annoyance of Mal and 'Nara, or the ramblings of Crazy.

Though, if he was honest with himself, and if he gave it any real thought, he'd remember that River hadn't been rambling so much lately. She'd been saner than he'd ever seen her, and she smiled more. The smiling he noticed, even if were only because her smiling meant she wouldn't slice him up none. Besides, they'd gotten used to each other since Miranda; they'd been partners on jobs, and they fought well together. He could handle her, so long as she was watching his back, and not shooting at it.

He nodded to Zoe as he walked by her on the way to his bunk, and found himself feeling bad all over again. It was all matter of wrong, what'd happened to Wash. If a man had to die, and by Reavers, at least he should have a chance to fight them first. Jayne tried not to think about how quiet the ship could be sometimes without the little man cracking his jokes as he finally pushed open the door to his bunk and climbed into his space.

Once his feet hit the ground of his own room, Jayne went to remove his sweat-stained shirt, but stopped mid-motion. Something wasn't right. His nostrils flared as his eyes roamed his space, his hand falling now to the gun he kept strapped to his thigh at all times. When his eyes landed on his bed, though, his eyebrows wrinkled and confusion dawned over his mind and face, even as his hand fell away from the gun. River, the crazy one, was in his bed. What was going on here?

Jayne took another step forward, and realized the girl was sleeping. In his bed. What was she doing sleeping in the middle of the day? In HIS bed? A few steps more carried Jayne to the side of his bed, and he looked down at her with that confused expression. "Girl, what in the good gorram are you doin' in my bed?" His voice was gruff, but he wasn't yelling…yet.

River's eyes opened slowly at the sound of Jayne's heavy footsteps, but they shot open once she'd heard his voice. She sat up quickly, eyes wide, hair flying around her shoulders, and met his eyes with her own. She hadn't meant to stay until he came back; she had planned on leaving as soon as she felt him returning, but she'd fallen asleep. Nights had not been kind to her as of late, and she had been so tired, and the bunk had been so calm…she'd had dreams. Her own dreams, not infringed upon by someone 

else's wants or someone else's nightmares. River smiled slowly. Her own dreams. "I was dreaming," River whispered, her voice barely there at all, as she smiled whimsically.

"Yea, I could see that y' were sleepin', but what the hell were ya' doin' in my bed? This here's my bunk, it ain't yours." Jayne crossed his arms now, looking down at River with annoyance in his eyes.

"It was quiet here. There isn't any other quiet, always loud, always there…" River looked away from Jayne. She hadn't wanted the crew to know. "Needed escape, needed quiet. Needed peace." River looked back up into Jayne's eyes. "No matter where she goes, they follow, and their thoughts, and their fears, and their words…" She raised a hand to her head. "Trying to be better, trying not to hear, but can't. Needed quiet. Bear's cave was quiet, bear wasn't home. Bed was just right, and then she fell asleep. Had dreams. My own dreams." River was smiling again, remembering the dreams. They had been wonderful.

Jayne's face had admittedly softened a bit once the girl started talking. This was the closest he'd heard to nonsense speak come out of her since Miranda, and he didn't know what to do about it. "Still don't understand why ya' came in here. And ya' were sleepin', of course there were dreams." Jayne shook his head. "Maybe I should get the Doc…" Jayne turned to go, not wanting to spur any crazy attacks or anything, but was stopped.

River's hands flew to Jayne, wrapping around an arm as she raised her voice for the first time in the exchange. "No! No Simon. Simon will come with needles and medicines that aren't necessary. Please, Jayne…don't tell them. Hiding. Dreaming dreams that were mine, and no one else's." River's eyes pleaded with him to understand. "I hear too much, and try not to, but it's there, always there. Needed to escape. Needed to hide. Please."

Jayne looked down at the little hands around his arm, and a small part of his brain remembered what those hands could do, remembered that this scared little girl in his bed was a weapon. But mostly, all he could see in that instant was a scared little girl. He hadn't seen her look like this in a long time; he'd gotten used to the gun hand River. This River, afraid of whatever it was, left Jayne confused and spinning in circles. "Whaddaya mean, dreams that ain't yours?"

"Try not to see others. Hear anyway, see anyway. Dreams and nightmares, but not mine." River was deliberately not slipping into referring to herself as 'she' and 'her.' She knew that would only scare Jayne, and she knew he was perilously close to leaving or kicking her out as it was. "Please, don't tell them. Haven't had my own dreams since…since before."

Jayne himself didn't know if she meant before Miranda or before her parents sent her to that gorram school, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know either. He scratched the back of his head with the hand whose arm she wasn't hanging on. "Fine. Just don't make a habit of hiding in here, got it, moonbrain?" Jayne himself didn't know why he wasn't yelling at her; he told himself it was because he still hadn't really repaid her for saving his life.

River, taking the dismissal for what it was, and not wanting to rouse Jayne further, crept slowly off of Jayne's bed. But before her feet touched the floor, she wound her arms around Jayne's torso, hugging him tight for a second. "Thank you, Jayne," she whispered, before she left Jayne's bunk with the comforting thoughts of silence and her own dreams and being surrounded by the scent of Jayne.

Once she left, though, Jayne shook his head and tried to forget about it. The girl was batty…


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Hiding (Ch. 3)

Disclaimer: The usual. Joss owns it all; the _Firefly_ verse doesn't belong to me.

Author's Note: I am sooooooo excited about the response to this story! I'm glad you guys like it. Please, review? I live off reviews now. Hehe.

River didn't stay away from Jayne's bunk for long at all. Three days after he caught her, River found herself in the mess, trying to eat some lunch, when in stormed the captain. Anger rolled off him in waves, and River pushed her chair away from the table in a futile effort to escape it. She'd felt his anger before he even got there; she knew he'd fought with Inara again, she knew Inara was fighting back tears in her shuttle. River could feel the heartbreak in both of them; the heartbreak that happened every time he called her a whore, every time they walked away from each other without telling the truth. So much pent up anger, and love, and too many words that only she could hear because no one would say them. Without even looking at her, Mal crossed the room with his large, determined steps.

River's eyes grew wide as the turmoil continued to rage inside her, even after Mal's silhouette had faded from the doorway. The extreme emotions of the captain and the companion had broken down her fragile walls, and she was swimming through a sea of thoughts and feelings that weren't her own. She could feel Kaylee's smile, even through the pain of the others. Zoe's grief rampaged in her mind; it was almost Wash's birthday. Simon's love for Kaylee ran through her, but she didn't want it, not even that happy feeling. No, no…didn't want it.

She needed to get away. She had to hide again, it was all too much. Distantly, she could feel the warmth that she'd started to associate with Jayne, the bear not in his cave. Shaking, River rose from the chair and made her way down the hallway, running her fingers over Serenity's metal, trying to take some of the coolness, some of the stillness from the ship, but to no avail. The feelings, the thoughts, they ran over and through Serenity, and then over and through River until she thought that she could drown in them.

The girl once again found herself in Jayne's bunk. She ran her hands over his bed before climbing into it, this time wrapping herself in his blanket as she sat there, rocking herself back and forth. It was louder this time, it was harder. She leaned back softly against his weapons, feeling the metal of the guns against her back, and slowly calmed down. She could still hear it all, but it was quieter now. Instead of drowning, she was swimming against the current. It was a near deal though. Each time someone walked down the hallway near Jayne's bunk, River twitched as those sensations, emotions, and thoughts overran her brain. Tears fell down her cheeks as she wrapped herself tighter in the blanket and inhaled the scent of Jayne, trying to gain some comfort and, through it, gain some control.

An hour after she'd snuck into Jayne's room, though, River felt something different. Warmth flew through her brain. Simplicity, heat…Jayne. He was coming back to his bunk. The fine tremors that had 

been wracking her body ever since her mental walls had crashed down around her in the mess stopped. She didn't move to get out of the bed, choosing instead to wait for him. The girl waiting in the bear's bed.

As Jayne entered his bunk, his eyes met hers and his face became stone. His heat flashed in her brain, and she spoke before he could. "Please, no yelling."

Jayne crossed his arms. "What did I tell ya' 'bout my room?" He'd been surprised to see her in his bunk again, but there she was, wrapped up all nice and tidy in his blankets. Then Jayne looked closer at River. "Wait…girl, y' been cryin'?"

River looked down at her knees, her hair falling to shield her face. "Had to hide. Was doing fine, was seeing, and hearing, and feeling for her – myself." River corrected herself mid-word, not wanting to slip any further than she already had. She was better than this, wasn't she? "But the walls were thin, like cards, and they came tumbling down. Hear everything, see everything, feel too much. Can't sort it out, too much…" Fresh tears fell down her cheeks, and she turned her head to the side, trying to hide them even as the crying made her voice shake. "Had to hide. Can only hide here."

"Hey, River-girl, come on…" Jayne's voice lowered, an attempt to make a naturally gruff voice seem less so. He walked closer to the bed, but not too close. He couldn't be certain that she wouldn't hit him or something.

"Won't lash out. She is a girl, not a viper, not a weapon waiting to be used. A girl, lost at sea. Too much, too much, need…need something." River looked up at him now, tears on her cheeks. "Jayne's room is quiet. Jayne is quiet. Jayne is warm, and simple, and doesn't hurt." She ran the fingers of one hand through her hair and to her temple to show what she meant. "But the others are still there, still…" River's voice drifted off, but her eyes begged Jayne to understand.

"Alright, alright…ya' can stay in here." Jayne ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what else to say to the girl, but it wasn't fair that she couldn't go anywhere else. Why couldn't people just learn to calm down around the girl?

River sighed deeply as Jayne agreed to let her stay. "Thank you, Jayne."

"Yea well, it ain't right. Them all makin' ya' cry." Jayne had a very strict, very simple set of rules, and one of those was definitely not making young girls cry. It just weren't right.

River just smiled up at him, the teas now gone, dried to tear tracks on her face. She let her mind feel Jayne's, and the curled around the feel of him like a cat, clutching his blanket to her. He was safe. He was a bear in his cave, and he was going to let her stay. The feel of his mind calmed her down, let her hear again. Jayne was an easy person, so he made things easy. He thought in straight lines, so he helped River to do the same. While before the waters of her mind had run rampant and curved and free, with Jayne's influence, they could run smoother and straight. River yawned and blinked, the exertion of trying to fight the minds of everyone on board finally hitting her, and Jayne watched. A strange feeling passed over him, but he brushed it off. It wouldn't be right to send the girl away now, when she looked 

like she might get some gorram sleep. Besides, she'd just calmed down, and sending her out into the boat seemed like all kinds of wrong.

Jayne had been just about to open to his mouth to say something about her staying when she cut him off. "Yes, thank you." She curled up on his bed now, and Jayne started to leave when her voice interrupted him again. "Stay until I fall asleep? You make it quiet." Jayne was surprised, and looked at the gorram girl like she was crazy – which she was, he reminded himself - before turning back around and finally sitting on the bed.

"Okay, moonbrain. Ya' got me." Jayne watched as River smiled and drifted off to sleep swiftly before he left, trying to puzzle out why the hell moonbrained girls liked to be in his bunk. Never mind that it was only one, and never mind that she had already explained it to him. He wasn't safe. He was a gorram bear. A big, mean bear.


	4. Chapter 4

Hiding: Chapter 4

Disclaimer: As usual, Joss is Boss.

Author's Note: I apologize for how long it took me to get this chapter written. I blame college and apartment searching. Forgive me? You guys are fantastic, and I am so glad you like the story. Also, I apologize if this chapter isn't as good as the others…it was harder to write, but I promise the next will be better!

!!

Sure enough, three days later, River was climbing down into Jayne's bunk again, and then again a couple days after that. Jayne got used to having her come around, and found that when she was calm, he actually didn't mind her being there…not that he would ever admit it. Besides, it was kind of nice to feel needed. He couldn't do anything for Zoe, or fix Mal and Inara, and Kaylee and the Doc generally kept each other happy. But the Moonbrain…well, he still said it wasn't right that the others made her cry all the time, or that they couldn't just calm down around her. If it was a choice between her staying in his room sometimes and her going all wooly and trying to slice him up again, he'd take the girl being in his room, hands down.

A month of this 'every two or three days' pattern came and went, and no one else on the crew was aware of where, exactly, their little genius ran off to when they couldn't find her. She'd even come once or twice first thing in the morning, claiming nightmares and shaking like a leaf. But still, they had no idea that she ran to Jayne's bunk, begging stories and distraction from the tangled webs of the minds of the others. Jayne had been surprised the first time she'd asked him for a story; he didn't know many bedtime stories, and the ones he knew surely weren't fit for little girls.

"Not a little girl. I wish to hear your story; the stories of Jayne." River had smiled up at him with the request, and Jayne had found himself sitting down on the bed and telling her the story of how he got Vera.

And time had passed this way for the past month. The girl wasn't all that bad, once she stopped babbling nonsense, and even her nonsense wasn't so bad anymore. Jayne could usually puzzle out what she was saying, even if it took him a bit. That was another thing that annoyed him; how come the rest of the crew couldn't just listen to the girl?

River could feel the change in dynamic between herself and the mercenary, but even her genius brain couldn't puzzle out exactly what had shifted. Jayne didn't complain about her being in his room anymore, and they made each other laugh. She enjoyed his stories, and he made her feel safe. But what did all that mean?

It was just another day, and River was curled up in Jayne's bed again. She'd already explained to him what had done it today; it was Wash's birthday, and she had felt as if she was swimming through the 

grief. Zoe hadn't been out of her bunk yet, but River had heard her clear across the ship. She'd asked him, once again, to talk to her and help her keep it out, so he'd started telling stories from home.

They were both laughing as he finished his latest, a story about how his Ma had scared off the police the first time Jayne got into trouble with them, when River suddenly stopped, head cocked as if listening to something. "They're looking," she said calmly as she looked at the hatch.

Jayne looked over where she was looking before turning his eyes back to her. "Fer you?" He'd gotten used to her knowing what the others were doing; actually, once a body got over how creepifying it was, her Reader brain was downright useful.

River nodded. "Captain Daddy wishes to confirm course. Simon is worried, hasn't seen me all day. He speaks, and worry permeates the air…others breathe it in and are infected. Tension makes them susceptible."

Jayne looked at her, repeating what she'd said in his head. "Yer brother is makin' 'em worry 'bout ya'?" He guessed.

River nodded, a smile blooming on her face. She liked that he understood her now. "And now they're looking." She tensed, eyes growing wider. "Looking for you, too."

Just as she finished warning him, Jayne heard a yell from the hallway above his hatch."Jayne!"

That was the captain's voice. Jayne stood up quickly, meeting her widened eyes with his own. If Mal found her down here, he was humped. Humped hard.

"Go talk to Captain Daddy. Meet him up there, and he won't come down here," River advised.

Jayne nodded. "Right. You stay here, I'll come tell you when the coast is clear." Jayne turned and climbed up to the hallway, just in time to meet a frustrated-looking Mal. "What, Mal?"

"Jayne, have you seen my pilot?" Mal asked, crossing his arms.

"I've been in my bunk. She hidin' again?" Jayne asked, hoping he wouldn't give it away.

"Would I be lookin' for her otherwise?" Mal shook his head.

"Aw, hell, Mal. She's crazy. She's prob'ly hiding in the cargo bay or somethin', or talking to the stars. She ain't on the bridge?" Jayne asked as he took a few steps in the direction of the bridge for emphasis. He needed Mal out of that hallways, and he needed it ten minutes ago type fast.

"Jayne, if she was on the bridge, don't you think I would've noticed? I go lookin' for my pilot, that's the first place I tend to look." Mal complained as he turned to follow Jayne. Jayne turned to face Mal once more, glancing over Mal's shoulder at the hatch to his bunk as he crossed his arms.

"Well Mal, I don't know where she is then. She knows this boat better'n you do, better'n any of us. An' I'm not too keen on searchin' for 'er either." Jayne's eyes widened a bit as he saw something he really, 

really did not want to see. River was climbing out of his room. Now. With the captain in the hallway. Jayne started to talk again, hoping to keep the captain facing him, and not River. "But she could be in that hidey-hole in the cargo bay, right? Maybe? Or maybe she's with Kaylee, or 'Nara."

Mal's eyebrows knitted as he began to suspect that something was going on that he didn't know about. "Jayne, why you bein' so helpful all of a sudden?"

Jayne swallowed as he shook his head. "No reason, Mal. Just…just want you and the rest of ev'rybody else to find her so I can get some gorram peace." The girl was out of his bunk completely now, and walking up behind Mal. Please, please don't let her say anything…

Jayne was about to alert Mal that his little psychic was behind him when River spoke up for herself. "I'm here, Captain Daddy. You needed me?"

Mal spun around, eyes wide. "You need to stop sneaking up on me like that, L'il Albatross." He got on a stern face, and River giggled. "I mean it now. I've been lookin' for you so we can go over the course. I got a boat to run and a schedule to keep."

River met Jayne's eyes for a minute over Mal's shoulder, and Jayne couldn't help but smile at the twinkle in the girl's eyes. "Yes Captain Daddy. Right away." She danced around Mal, and then around Jayne, on her way to the bridge. Mal followed her, and Jayne stood there, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall.

That had been close. He didn't know what Mal would've done if he'd found River in Jayne's bunk, but Jayne had a strong suspicion that it would involve a lot of yelling and him being tossed back in the airlock. Still shaking his head, Jayne went back down into his bunk, muttering to himself as he did.


	5. Chapter 5

Hiding – Chapter 5

Disclaimer: They still don't belong to me. Only in my wildest dreams.

Author's Note: So, I am way too slow at updating. Unfortunately, it happens. Do you all forgive me? I am very sorry…but I am so happy with the response this story is getting. I love you all!

!!

The nightmares were getting worse.

River had her own nightmares to deal with – more than her fair share, really – but if they weren't enough, then the rest of the crew's made it hell in River's own mind. At night, the crew's minds wandered, and their thoughts, their dreams…their nightmares…they all found River in the darkness of her bed. They crept into her mind, into her own dreams, melting together until River couldn't tell her own visions from anyone else's.

She was in the Academy. She could feel the needles again, the press of dark and clouded minds around her. The harshness of the sterile environment contrasted with very not-sterile thoughts. The fight to escape was a blood-bath, and it was a blood-soaked and shaking River that walked out of the Academy…

And onto the battlefield she knew was Serenity Valley. Screams of the hurt and the dying filled her ears, and the young Reader cried. So much pain, so much fractured hope; it all ran through her, leaving her heart raw and aching. The Captain's pain, still strong after so many years, was foremost, his inner voice screaming as River screamed along.

But there were differences here, in this dreamscape, from the Serenity Valley the Captain remembered. Federal agents, both the common purple-suited kind and the dreaded Blue Hands, followed her through the screams and the gunshots trying to get her back. She couldn't let them, she wouldn't be dragged back to those doctors and their needles and that chair. She recognized one of the screams as Kaylee's, and heard her brother shout her name, though River couldn't see either of them. She was running, running away from the men behind her, trying to outrun the pain and the screaming and all of the death that permeated the air around her…but she stopped running as her eyes caught sight of a body that didn't belong, a man who hadn't been a casualty of this war: Wash, dead eyes staring up and away from the gaping hole in his chest.

River let out one last wail as she sat up in her bed, sobbing loudly, hands grabbing her hair by the roots, tugging, as if she was trying to pull the bad dreams from her own mind with physical force. The sobs wracked her body even as she dimly registered hearing the door open and her brother's voice asking if he was okay. She was far from alright, couldn't he see? But no, he never saw anything but a broken doll of a sister, broken…

Simon was beside her now, and Kaylee wasn't far behind him. Their worry overwhelmed her, flowed over her in tides; it made her shiver even as her body was shaken by her sobs. "No, no…" The words tumbled from her lips as she tried to crawl away from her brother, further into her bed. She couldn't think, she couldn't see past the nightmares, and having the tangles that were Simon's and Kaylee's thoughts so close was confusing her…she was drowning again.

"Doc, what's goin' on in here?" Mal's voice rang from the doorway. "Albatross, you okay?"

River's last shred of sanity fled her as Mal's thoughts joined the mix. His own memories of the nightmares he'd been having were too close to the surface, and mixed with his worry for her, his thoughts and feelings became a tidal wave, dragging her under the river of thoughts that had become and ocean, dragging her down, down…she couldn't swim. She needed a rock, needed her bear. Needed straight thoughts and warmth.

River scrambled from her bed, pushing Simon out of her way as she went. "Bear, bear…" She made it to the doorway and pushed the captain out of the way as well, wincing as she touched him and got an even closer brush with his mind. Breathe. She had to remember to breathe. She was going to drown if…

"What the gorram hell is goin' on?" A gruff voice called from a bit down the hall. "I heard the moonbrain screamin', she goin'…" Jayne was cut off as River flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest, letting his warmth flow over her panicked brain as she started to ramble.

"Blood and death and needles, all floating through the brainpan. Darkness and…and drowning, make it go away!" She sobbed into Jayne's chest, bare as it had been while he was sleeping, her hair tickling the skin it met there.

"Whoa, Moonbrain…calm down. Is it them nightmares again?" Jayne slowly and almost awkwardly brought his hands up to her shoulders, trying to calm her down as he went.

River nodded and looked up at him. "Worse. Nightmares…the visions, the death, the blood, so much blood…and screaming." River shuddered. "Not mine. Dreaming dreams that aren't mine, but some that are, and the girl gets lost in the visions. The girl drowns in the blood, hearing screams…"

Footsteps rang down the hall once more, and Zoe was suddenly standing with the others. "Sir, what's…" She stopped speaking once she saw the mercenary and the psychic standing away from the rest. Zoe, Mal, Simon, and Kaylee watched in shock as Jayne shushed the younger girl.

"Moony, from what I heard, it was you doin' the screamin'. Them's jus' dreams, girl. Remember?" He looked down at her, repeating what he'd told her the times that she had come to him mornings after other nightmares. "Can't get ya'." Jayne didn't remember when he'd started caring whether or not River was crying. He didn't remember when he'd started to want to make it better. But he knew he did; he knew, standing there, that he wanted her to calm down, wanted her to smile.

"I…I remember, Jayne. But they're all there, all running around. They won't stop. And if they won't, I can't. Can't stop seeing, can't stop…" Her nails dug into Jayne's back as she clung to him.

"Stop that. You can, you've been doin' it every day now. Jus' think 'bout somethin' else."

"Sir, am I watchin' Jayne be…nice to River?" Zoe whispered to Mal, low enough that the pair she spoke of wouldn't hear her.

"I think you just might." Mal's face displayed both confusion and annoyance very clearly. "Doc, you know anything about this?" Simon shook his head."Kaylee?"

"Nothin' Cap'n. But…maybe we should leave 'em be? River's calmin' down some, and Jayne's doin' a great job with 'er…" Kaylee shrunk back as she saw Mal's and Simon's faces. "Or not…"

River was breathing deeply, eyes squeezed shut. Wrapped in the warmth that was Jayne's mind, she rebuilt the walls around her mind, trying to block out everything but her own thoughts, and Jayne's. She saw her own smile in his mind, and her lips twitched in an answering call. In his mind, images of her played over and over: her dancing through the cargo bay, her on jobs, her playing with Kaylee…her dripping with blood and holding Reaver weapons. A moment later, River's grip on Jayne's torso eased, and she looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you for the story, Jayne."

"What story? I didn't tell ya' no gorram story." Jayne's brows creased, confusion dawning in his warmth.

River just tapped her head with one finger and after a moment, whispered. "I'm sorry I got Jayne into trouble."

"What? Ya' didn't…" It was then that Jayne looked up and over River's head and saw the crew staring at them. His hands fell from her arms as if she was made of hot coals. "Go se."


	6. Chapter 6

Hiding, Chapter 6

Author's Note: I am so sorry. Not that I actually expect to be forgiven, but I never meant to abandon this story. Real life crept up on me, and I was in a very bad way for a very long time. I'm trying to come back and be reliable though…Though I think this installment kinda sucks. And if you guys agree, tell me so, and I will re-write.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Sorry. Don't sue. Joss is boss.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jayne sat in his normal seat at the table, arms crossed as he glared at the crew. Well, not at the girl who sat in her regular seat next to him, still shivering now and then, or at Kaylee, smiling at him like he was some gorram hero; but the rest of the crew wasn't spared his glare. Even Zoe, because she was just standing there next to Mal, who looked at him like he was space trash, looking like a statue.

The captain looked like he was about to speak, but the crazy girl cut him off right quick. "No, no. You don't yell at man-named-Jayne." She gave the shocked captain the full weight of those big brown eyes and continued. "Too loud to yell, hurts."

Jayne looked over at her, arms still crossed as he lounged. "Ya' don't gotta protect me, Moony. I'm a big boy, I can take Daddy's yelling." He spoke slowly, like there wasn't a care in his mind, but he knew that messing with River was the quickest way to piss off everyone on the boat.

River shook her head. "No. No yelling." She glared over at Mal, and then at Simon, to make her point.

"Fine, 'Tross. We won't be yellin'. But I do have a question to pose to Jayne, here." Mal walked over and leaned on the table, across from Jayne and River. "What the hell is going on here?"

"You don't even like River," Simon piped in. "Now you're hugging her in the hall, and she's running to you at night?" He was insulted, that much was clear. Jayne rolled his eyes.

"Oh stuff it, both of you. If either of you could keep an eye on her, none of this woulda happened anyway." He wiped his tired face and continued. "Girl's been sneaking into my room for weeks. Nothin' inappropriate, like, but hidin' out. From the rest of ya'." He looked to River, who nodded. "Couldn't make her stop if'n I wanted to, anyway." He looked back over at Mal.

"River, really, Jayne? I could give you smoothers, if you've been having a hard time…" Simon's well-meaning words died in his throat when River started shaking her head almost violently and clutched at Jayne's elbow, grasping for a handhold.

"No! No drugs. Can't feel, can't defend, can't! No drugs!" River pleaded with Simon, and then looked to Jayne. "No drugs," she whispered vehemently.

"That there's exactly why she's been hiding." Jayne nodded at Simon. "You drug her up, when all she needs is time to calm down."

Zoe, quiet up 'til now, put a hand on Mal's shoulder and whispered something in his ear. Mal's jaw clenched. "Zo, I know. But…" The woman's hand clenched on his shoulder, stopping him. "Middle of the night or not, this has to be dealt with. She's an impressionable girl, Zo, and he's…Jayne." Mal's hand swept, indicating the problematic pair, as if everything should be obvious, because it sure as well was to him.

Before Jayne even had time to react to that, Kaylee had leapt to her feet. "What's that supposed to mean, Cap'n?" She looked ready to fight him, and that was saying something. "Jayne's good enough, leave him be."

Simon stood, hand over his mouth as he thought. Now that the threat of drugs was gone, River looked to be calming well enough. If Jayne did that for her, then…"Captain, let's leave them be for a time." He closed his eyes, and spoke as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "This is most definitely what going made feels like, but…River is superbly stubborn, if nothing else, even more so after she's been scared." Simon took another breath and continued as Mal looked at him in shock. "If this…if she's calm and happy and not hurting anyone, that's the ultimate goal here." He looked at River. "Are you calm?"

River's eyes were trained on Mal, and her hands hadn't left Jayne's elbow. "Will be when Captain stops thinking about guns." Mal frowned.

Simon sighed. "Happy?"

"Very. Man named Jayne is very nice. Tells stories." River beamed up at the hired gun, and Jayne pointedly refused to look back at her. Instead, he glared across the table at Mal, daring him to say something.

Simon looked at Malcolm as he asked his final question. "And Mal, is she hurting anyone?"

Mal glared at Jayne, then at Simon. "Only my head, gorram it all."

"For which I'd be glad to give you a painkiller, Captain." Simon held his own in the staring match that followed, not backing down or looking away. Mal had to give him that, at least.

After a moment, Mal sighed, flabbergasted at his crew. "Fine. Fine! You all want to ignore this, fine. Doc, add somethin' to help me sleep to that painkiller cocktail, and you got yerself a deal. But!" He whirled back to face Jayne, finger pointed. "But. I got a rule about shipboard romancin' Jayne. And this…"

Jayne looked both horrified and insulted. "Mal! I told ya', nothin' inappropriate like! I like mine not-crazy, and knowin' what they're doin'. Thanks." For once, River didn't contest being called crazy.

Simon beckoned for Mal to go to the infirmary for his promised 'cocktail', and they left. Kaylee kissed Jayne and River each on the top of the head before heading back to her room, talking about how 'shiny' this whole thing was. Zoe, however, stood there. Watching them.

"Speak yer piece, Zo." Jayne closed his eyes, tired from his interrupted sleep and this showdown. He wanted to get back to bed, and right quick.

"Got nothin' to say, Jayne. Nothin' that needs to be said, anyway." Zoe met River's eyes, and River nodded after a moment. Zoe nodded again in acknowledgement, and turned on her heel and left, and then there were two.

The two of them, the gun and the crazy girl, sat in somewhat comfortable silence for a few moments before Jayne cracked his eyes open again and looked down at the brown doe eyes looking up at him. Somewhere along the line, she'd leaned her head against his bicep, and had been staring up at him, waiting for him to move. "Well, that was all kinds o' fun, girly." His voice was tired, gruff, but held no animosity for the slip of a thing next to him.

"Was no fun. Sarcasm wasn't necessary; too late at night for humor." River yawned, closing her eyes as she snuggled against him.

"Guess yer right. But sleepin' in here won't do you any good, Moony. Come on. Back to your room." Jayne tried to stand without toppling the girl attached to his arm. She stood fluidly with him, not letting go of his arm, like some silly princess from his ma's books.

"Jayne will escort the girl back to her chambers?" She raised an eyebrow at him, regal even in an old tee-shirt he thought had belonged to Mal and an old pair of Kaylee's shorts. Hair tumbling in a wild mess down her back, face clean except for one or two dried tear tracks, Jayne couldn't help but add this image of her to the growing collection he hadn't realized he was keeping.

But River knew, and she smiled as Jayne walked her to her room. She hugged him fiercely, wordlessly, before disappearing back to the darkness of her room, the comfort of her bed, and the oblivion of a sleep without nightmares.

Jayne stood outside her room just long enough to hear her climb into bed before he turned to go back to his own with a powerful yawn. This night had been to gorram strange.


	7. Chapter 7

Hiding: Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters, ship, and most of what's mentioned belong to Joss the Boss. I'm just playing in his genius sandbox.

Author's Note: This story is the love of my life…I stray for a while, but I always come back. Thanks for dealing with that.

!

Zoe really, really needed to start making the plans, because Jayne was getting awful tired of things not going smooth. The crew was running another job for Badger, another flaw in this brilliant plan as far as Jayne was concerned, and in the final pick-up, some self-appointed local lawmen had just happened to come in to their quiet corner of the verse, and just happened to notice the bag being kicked under the table, and just happened to draw guns over it.

All of which, of course, led to Jayne just happening to have a gun in each hand, being pointed at two different men, River's back against his. It was supposed to be a quiet job, they weren't supposed to need a quick getaway, so Mal had taken River, just as a precaution of the 'let's not get screwed' variety.

He felt River tense behind him, getting ready for the fight that was, at this point, inevitable. He could hear Mal going back and forth with his fancy sarcasm, but he'd stopped listening; Mal was real good at upsetting people, not so much with the calming a situation down.

"You take that side, I'll take this one?" Jayne whispered to River over his shoulder, not moving his gaze from the men in front of him. River smiled at his gruff voice, and nodded.

"Affirmative." Her voice was just as low, and he was sure he could imagine what she looked like in that second without having to turn around. Green shirt flowing down to her hips, those gorram wonderful brown pants all tight against her legs before they disappeared into her boots...No way. Now was not the time, and there was never gonna be a right time for those kinds of thoughts where the girl was concerned.

Before he could properly distract himself with an internal debate, the air around them changed, and he felt River shift. Apparently Mal had finally upset the balance just enough, and now the regular law-abiding folk in the bar were even standing up to help. Jayne swore under his breath as the first shot was finally fired.

The next few minutes were a blur of Zoe and the Captain fighting their end, and Jayne and River fighting theirs, when Jayne heard a noise he never expected to hear in a fight. A girlish almost-scream coming from behind him. He turned, a feeling he refused to admit was panic rising in his chest, and sure enough, the green of river's shirt was stained near-black with blood, apparently starting somewhere near her left shoulder. River reached up with her right hand, drew the gun at her hip, and shot her last adversary in a similar place before she wheeled around, gun still pointed, and Jayne followed her gaze.

Guilt swarmed him. One of the men he'd shot and assumed was down for the count was leaning up on his elbows, gun trained on the dangerous girl behind Jayne. Jayne growled in frustration and shot one more time; this time he didn't worry about the no-killing rule the captain generally established before jobs. The man's brains joined the mess on the floor as Mal grabbed the bag under the table and Zoe held her gun trained in the direction of what remained of their opposition.

"We'll be leaving now," Mal said genially, and then caught sight of River. Jayne was already at her side, trying to put some pressure on the wound as River babbled about being fine, fine, fine, she was fine. Jayne shook his head at her, and Mal motioned for the door.

River barely protested as Jayne scooped her up in his arms, trusting Mal and Zoe to cover their exit. He cradled River's injured side closest to his body as they ran quickly for the shuttle that lay nearby. Inside, Jayne finally allowed some of the panic to take over as he set River down. He didn't hear Mal giving orders or notice the shuttle taking off again, he just stayed with River. "Gorram it girl, what'd you have to go and get shot fer? Ain't you some sorta super-woman?" His voice was gruff, and he didn't speak the words he was thinking desperately.

I'm sorry.

Suddenly, River was shaking her head at him, and he had to press harder to maintain pressure. "No. Bear, no, not your fault…" She would have kept rambling, but Zoe was there, holding the simple medical kit they kept in the shuttle at Simon's insistence, and the warrior woman was pushing Jayne's hands out of the way, moving him to get to River and do what she could for the girl.

Jayne stepped back as Zoe cut River's delicate, silken shirt. It had been a present from Kaylee for her last birthday. Jayne didn't know why he remembered that, didn't know what to do or say, he just back up until he hit the wall of the shuttle and stayed there, watching Zoe ask clinical questions and reassure River in her no-nonsense tone of voice. He looked down at his hands, covered in River's blood, and couldn't believe she'd said this wasn't her fault. Because it definitely was.

Zoe finished doing what she could for River, and called Jayne over. He went, eyes on the bandage Zoe was holding over the girl's bullet wound. Zoe smiled down at River, her expression more gentle than Jayne had seen since Wash died. "She wants you to sit with her. Keep pressure on it, right here. Bullet's still in there, so I'm sorry River, but it'll hurt."

"Hurt but bleeding." When Jayne winced at River's words, she gave a tired smile. "Bleeding means I am alive."

He gave her a smile in return. "It does." Jayne sat, replacing Zoe's hand with his on River's shoulder as Zoe went to update the captain on River's condition in that gorram stable voice of hers. "Those whosewhatsits your brother's always tellin' me about when I get hurt on kickin' in yet?"

"Endorphins. Some. I am not crying." River nodded. "Hurt, but bleeding…"

They sat in silence for the next few minutes, though to Jayne it felt like hours, until they reached Serenity and Jayne picked her back up, jostling her as little as he could, and rushed her to the infirmary, where Simon was waiting. Apparently, Mal had called ahead, and Simon, being the worrywart he was, had been waiting on the bridge. For once, the doc's habits made Jayne sigh instead of groan, and he set River down on the exam table as Zoe briefed Simon.

"I need room," Simon said to Jayne, who was hovering. "Zoe…" The medical prattle started there, and Jayne lost all track of what Simon was saying, choosing instead to go outside. He grabbed a towel on his way out, wanting the blood off his hands as quick as possible, but unwilling to go shower it off. Instead, he sat outside the same window he'd watched the doc work on Kaylee through, and waited.

Kaylee joined him there shortly, and leaned on his arm. "River'll be okay. Simon's a great doctor. You'll see." Jayne just nodded, and continued watching, but Kaylee watched him instead. She'd known since the night of the showdown, as she chose to call it, that there was something Jayne was keeping from the world. She figured it was just that he didn't want the world to think he'd gone soft; she hadn't thought til now that there might be some grand romance there, but now that the seed was planted, she was planning their wedding within five minutes.

Jayne didn't move til Simon stopped stitching River up, and then walked around to meet him at the door of the infirmary. "So?"

Simon looked puzzled, but answered. "She'll recover. She's out right now, won't wake up for a while…she'll need some time, no more jobs, but she should be okay to fly, at least, in a few days, as long as it's nothing too rigorous." He took a breath. "Thank you, Jayne. For…for having my sister's back." When Jayne looked flabbergasted, Simon explained. "Zoe told me you two often pair up on jobs. That you…killed the man, who did this to River. While I'm opposed to killing in general…thank you." Simon couldn't believe the words were leaving his mouth, but it needed to be done.

Jayne coughed, uncomfortable. "Er…yea. Ain't nothin'." He looked inside, and then down the hall. "She'll be okay?"

Simon nodded. "She will. Though with the medication I need to have her on, she may not be as rational as she's been known to be recently…"

Jayne nodded, and turned, finally going to wash the sweat and blood off himself. He'd be there when she woke up, though. He knew how much she hated meds.


	8. Chapter 8

Hiding Ch. 8

Disclaimer: The characters, ship, and most of what's in this story belong to Joss Whedon. He's my master now.

Author's Note: I'm doing the best I can to update when inspiration hits; thank you all for your wonderful feedback.

!

River woke up in the infirmary, and all sleepiness that lingered in her mind faded instantly as she sat straight up, eyes widening as she did. Her heart was hammering in her chest, she could feel it trying to escape, trying to beat out of her chest; she needed out, she needed away...

It all stopped, though, when her panicked eyes came to rest on Jayne. Bear was asleep, curled up in the metallic cave...she'd slept on that ledge once. Dancer fit better than big Bear. The sight was enough to bring a small smile to her face. Blankets were less like chains now, with Jayne there to oversee her. Even when they were closed, Jayne-man's eyes saw all, ears heard all...nose twitch-twitch-twitched and smelled all. She remembered now, he'd carried her in. Given her to Simon, Simon had sewed her all up like a pretty little doll. Sewed, stitch-stitch-stitched, snipped the thread. She shifted the fabric of the simple shift someone had dressed her in and stared at the pristine white of her bandage.

It wasn't gleaming, the lights were still low. Not the dark time of cycle, but not the light. River liked in-betweens. Between worlds, between times...it was like limbo, up on her toes, spinning around and around...silk and gold. River's eyes moved from her Protector to the door, where Inara stood, hair around her shoulders. Not too early for companions; Inara liked in-betweens too, River knew it.

"He was there all night, you know." Inara kept her voice low in an attempt to let Jayne sleep. She'd slept very little herself, really, between the time confusion of being on and then off world and her worry for River. She'd come down late in the night to sit at the girl's bedside, and instead discovered a very worried Jayne sitting where he was sleeping now. Apparently, there was more to this friendship than anyone had seen...

Inara didn't have time to finish that thought, because River was talking again. "He feels too heavy. She will have to teach him to dance again, step step step." She giggled, even though the shaking hurt her shoulder.

"Dance?" Inara was confused, but then she often was in her time with River. She tried, but the younger girl spoke in riddles. It was a shame; she'd been so much better lately.

River frowned. "Dance, light on his feet. Dancing bears used to entertain kings, now only dance with the girl." River looked at Jayne again, and her frown faded. "The weight is heavy, but she will make it stop." Inara looked between River and Jayne, and for the first time, she understood Mal's concerns. He'd said some things to her about a nightmare of River's and Jayne and something inappropriate, but he'd been so flustered about everything that he hadn't really made any sense.

Inara nodded, though she didn't understand. "If you say so, River."

"You play pretend, but you do not comprehend." River was frowning in Inara's direction. "I speak, and there are words, but no meaning. It is lost, and I am lost, wandering through the woods, looking for a cave..." River was getting hysterical now, eyes wide and watering. There was metal all around, and needles, and no one could understand. Inara was looking at her like she was broken and dangerous all in one, afraid to touch, like the fear of broken glass.

Jayne's eyes popped open as the heightened pitch of the girl's voice reached his ears. "What's wrong, River-girl?" He was up and moving before his mind could even calculate where they were; the metal tray beside her bed clattered a bit as he hit it, spilling the glass of water on top. Neither of them noticed. Jayne glanced at Inara, wondering why she hadn't bothered to try to help.

"This place, it's hard and cold...lost, need the cave, sleeping bear but still no home..." River reached for Jayne desperately, searching for a hold in the storm that was her mind.

Jayne closed his eyes and hugged her gently around the shoulders, running a gentle hand over her hair as River leaned into his abdomen. She was at the very edge of the bed now, and Jayne's glance at Inara became a challenge. Let her step in now, let her tell him to back away; the girl might kill her with her magical reader mind then, for real, and wouldn't he just get a laugh out of that. But Inara just stood in shock, watching the moment unfold.

Mal hadn't told her, in all his ranting, that the affection looked real. He'd never mentioned that when Jayne helped River, his voice was gentle and his touches were light as air.

"And Jayne-man is heavy now, and it is all her fault. Missed a step, now have to teach him to dance again..." River's rant became a whimper as Jayne guided her to sit back on the bed.

"Come on Moony, let me sit with you." He sighed. "It weren't your fault, what happened. That hun-dan who shot ya', it was his fault." He saw her start to argue with him and shook his head. "Stop it, girl. Breathe, yea?" He took a deep breath of his own to show her how. Simon hadn't been kidding when he said she might be irrational; this was the worst Jayne had seen her in weeks. He sat on the very edge of her sickbed and let her take his hand. It seemed so small in his, but he knew it didn't mean nothing. It was just as deadly, more deadly, than his own. "Talk to me. But keep takin' them deep breaths. Don't wanna make your brother fix ya' up again if you get all upset and pull your stitches."

River talked then, about woods and bears and dancers, and Jayne talked back, rephrasing what she'd said in layman's terms. Neither of them noticed when Inara walked away, leaving them to their own devices.

Outside the infirmary, she met Zoe, who'd been standing outside with her arms crossed, watching it all. "It's an oddness, isn't it?" Zoe said, not tearing her eyes away from River and Jayne playing nice on the bed.

"It is. But...it's scarily genuine. He seems to really understand her, as much as I wouldn't have believed it." Inara looked back as River smiled, wiping her eyes with the hand that wasn't still clutching Jayne's.

"Don't tell the Cap'n. Last thing we need is him popping a blood vessel at breakfast." Zoe gave Inara a nod before walking swiftly away. Inara gave one last glance at the odd pair in the infirmary and went to finish preparing to have breakfast with the crew.

By breakfast, which he grabbed quickly and brought to her, Jayne had River laughing. By lunch, he was walking her to her own room, after siding with her against Simon to let her eat with the crew. And Mal, tasked with flying his own ship for the time being, was blissfully unaware of what was happening right under his nose.

He had rules, after all.


	9. Chapter 9

Hiding Ch. 9

Disclaimer: Joss is boss. If you don't know that by now...le sigh.

Author's Note: ...Okay so I'm a terrible person who never updates her fics. Sorry folks. I try.

!

"Come. Sit." And with those two words, and the excited hand gestures and emphatic nods at her pilotin' seat, Jayne suddenly found himself wondering how he'd gotten himself into this. He'd just gone up to the bridge to bring River a strawberry or two from the box he'd gotten on-world. Then one thing to another, and...

"Jayne. Please?" Her big brown eyes in her little face, and the smile...aw, hell.

"You know Mal wouldn't like it none, me sittin' in yer chair." His words were gruff and matter of fact, even as he sat in her seat anyway. She'd only been flying again for a couple weeks. How had he gotten here again? Oh, right. He'd said something about not -

"You said you couldn't comprehend how one so small could pilot something so large. Would like to show you." She leaned over his shoulder, pointing at screens and switches, explaining away. "That one is for communications. This, navigation and radar. This..." He tried to follow, he really did, but her mind moved at about a lightyear every second, and her mouth wasn't far behind. After his third or fourth nod and noise of agreement, River stopped and looked at him with a giggle. "You do not comprehend."

"Yer a little hard to follow River-girl." He smirked back at her. "Is there gonna be a test later or somethin'?"

"Jayne! No testing. Silly thoughts." She tapped his forehead twice with her index finger, and they both chuckled. She straightened up, no longer leaning over his shoulder, and then fluidly sat herself in his lap.

"Whoa, River..." Jayne started to protest, but she was having none of that. She tutted at him and pointed at the console, where she put one hand on the steering mechanism, and the other hand grabbed one of his, placing it on the steering with her. "With me, now. See? Easy as pie." And he knew she'd picked up that expression from him. Or maybe Kaylee, but it was nicer to think it was from him.

"Not so bad, I suppose." Jayne was just glad they were gliding through the black and not doing anything important. He'd probably foul it up, and then they'd both be in deeper go-se then he'd ever appreciate.

River looked over her shoulder at him. "No, not so bad at all." And that smile was back, and all Jayne could do was stare at it for a few seconds. And then she was biting her lip, and he was leaning in, and in a heart-stopping, searing moment, their lips met in a chaste kiss.

Jayne broke it nanoseconds after he started it, and started to babble out an apology. "River, I'm so..."

"_Bi zui._" River whispered as she turned in his lap, throwing her legs over the arm of her seat and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him again. Jayne groaned and kissed her back, hands in her hair as he promptly took control, kissing her slowly, confidently, until they had to break for breath. He leaned his forehead on hers and took a steadying breath as his hands flexed on her back.

"Girl, what are we doin'?" He closed his eyes as he whispered the loaded question.

"Living." Was her simple answer.

They sat like that for quite a while, one or the other pressing the occasional chaste kiss to the other's face. Peaceful was the best word Jayne had for it. Home was River's.

But no peace lasts forever, does it?


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of it, I'm just grateful to play in Joss's sandbox. He is Boss.

Author's Note: I completely appreciate the reaction this story continues to get, despite me being the worst updater on the planet. I love you all, and thank you.

!

Hiding – Chapter 10

A quick intake of breath, and then one sentence in a dangerously low voice. "What the hell is going on here?" That was all it took to shatter the perfect peace River and Jayne had found on the bridge. Jayne jumped at the sound of Mal's voice, upsetting River from his lap as he stood to face his boss. River was saved only by her unnatural grace, somehow catching herself and managing not to meet the floor. She also faced the captain, but where Jayne was equal parts scared and defiant, River's face was empty. Waiting.

"Cap, listen, it's not…well it is…and…" Jayne stuttered to find something, anything, to say to the very angry captain as he paced onto the bridge, but River's face when he started to deny everything stopped him.

"It's not what, Jayne? Not you cozying up to my pilot when I have made the rules quite clear? Not you puttin' your hands on River when you know fairly well that it won't end well for you? Please, illuminate me." Jayne had never seen Mal this angry.

"Stop this." River said. "I'm a big girl, I can make this decision…"

And Mal cut her off. "Got nothin' to do with you, 'Tross. Jayne knows the rules. He knows where this is going. Jayne, bags. You got 'em, you pack 'em. You're off this ship the minute we touch dirt."

"Cap…" Jayne started, but he knew it was for nothing. Reynolds had let this rule slip once, and look where it had gotten his crew; broken, that's what. But he had to try, for River. "Come on." It was a clear plea.

"Don't, Jayne. Go." And as Malcolm Reynolds turned to leave the bridge, River spoke up again.

"Then this will be my port of harbor as well." Jayne gaped at her, shaking his head, and Mal turned, but still she stood there, hands clasped behind her back, looking like a perfect soldier. Her face wasn't blank anymore, not even close. This was anger, and River was riding it like a pro.

"Excuse me?" Mal said, disbelief clear on his face.

"Jayne did not force himself on me. We both broke the rule. We both must go." She took a breath, squared her shoulders, and met Mal's eyes. "Where Jayne goes, I go, Captain."

"River-girl, come on, you can't…"

"Do not tell me what I can and cannot do, Jayne Cobb, you will find that you are most certainly underestimating me."

"I told you River, this ain't about you. You're just…" Mal regretted it instantly as he saw River's face harden.

"Just what? Just a girl? Just a broken, little girl? Not so broken she can't fly your ship, but too broken to decide she wants to stop? No. If Jayne goes, I go too." She looked at Jayne, more sure of this than he'd ever see her be about anything. "We stay together. We're partners."

Jayne couldn't help but nod. She was right. Mal looked at them both in complete disbelief. "River, you know that wasn't what I meant. You're…Zoe!" He turned and left the bridge yelling for his first mate.

River's shoulders sagged as he left, and she looked at Jayne, uncertainty in her eyes for the first time. "Do you really think Captain Daddy will make us leave?"

Jayne looked at her, and as willing as he'd be to go wherever she went, he knew that he couldn't let them leave her home. His home. Their home. "Not if'n I have anything to say about it." He took off after Mal, yelling for the Captain as he went.

"I don't care what he did, Sir, you haven't seen –" Zoe cut off the rest of her sentence as Jayne ran into the common room and found them. Simon and Kaylee stood on the other side of the room, looking incredibly concerned. Zoe cleared her throat, nodded to Jayne and seemed to make a choice. She faced Mal squarely and met his eyes. "I married your last pilot. If Jayne wants to take it on himself to love this one…then you should take your ben dan rule and stick it where the sun don't shine." Crossing her arms, she stood and waited for him to make the call.

Simon and Kaylee both gaped at Zoe's sudden and complete rebellion against the captain, and Jayne couldn't swear that his face wasn't doing the same. Really? She'd stood up for him? For them? And…who'd said anything about love? He'd just kissed the girl, for heaven's sake, and love…well, that was a fair bit more complicated than whatever this was. Wasn't it?

Mal stood there for a moment, broken syllables escaping his lips before he turned to Jayne, took a breath, and walked up until he was dangerously within the other man's personal space. "Understand me, this is not over. You stay, because she is staying, and losing you and her, not what's best for mine. But if you hurt her, Jayne, understand this. I will not hesitate to press the button this time." And with that, the captain tried to storm out of the room, pausing only to get around River, who was now blocking the door to that hallway.

River stepped forward slowly and took Jayne's hand, moving as if she was afraid to spook him. She met Zoe's eyes and smiled. "Thank you." Zoe nodded and went to her own bunk, going the way the captain had gone.

She knew he'd never let her live this down. She just hoped the two of them would make it worth it.

Jayne looked down at River's hand in his, and then at Simon and Kaylee across the room, still standing in shock. Kaylee was starting to smile and bounce up and down though, unable to keep her happiness for them at bay for long. Simon just stared, until Jayne called over. "Your turn Doc?"

Simon seemed to think about it, and Kaylee stopped her bouncing. Jayne and River could hear her murmur into Simon's ear, and Simon looked at River. With a sigh, he shook his head. "Not this time, Jayne. Not this time." He smiled at the two of them, though it was weak, and let Kaylee lead him away.

Jayne looked down at River, brought her hand to his lips, and kissed her fingers, before heaving a sigh of his own and sitting in the nearest chair. When she walked over to stand before him, he looked up at her and asked the only thing he could think of.

"Well, Riv…what do we do now?"


End file.
